Buying an engagement ring is exciting, overwhelming, and—let's be honest—a little terrifying. There's so much information out there, and it's hard to know what actually matters when you're standing in front of a display case or scrolling through hundreds of options online.
If you're about to embark on this journey, here are the things I wish someone had told me before I started shopping for an engagement ring. These insights could save you time, money, and a lot of second-guessing.
1. You Don't Need to Spend Three Months' Salary
Let's start by debunking the biggest myth in the engagement ring world: the "three months' salary" rule. This guideline was created by a diamond marketing campaign in the 1930s—not by financial advisors or relationship experts.
The truth? Spend what feels comfortable for your financial situation. A meaningful engagement isn't measured by carat weight or price tags. What matters is choosing a ring that reflects your partner's style and your commitment to each other.
What I wish I knew: Setting a realistic budget from the start helps you focus on what you can afford without the guilt or pressure of arbitrary spending rules.
2. Lab-Grown Diamonds Are Real Diamonds (and They're Amazing)
I used to think lab-grown diamonds were "fake" or somehow inferior to natural diamonds. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Lab-grown diamonds are chemically, physically, and optically identical to natural diamonds. They're created using advanced technology that replicates the natural diamond formation process—just in weeks instead of billions of years. Even professional gemologists can't tell them apart without specialized equipment.
The game-changer? Lab-grown diamonds cost up to 70% less than natural diamonds of the same quality. That means you can get a larger, higher-quality stone for your budget, or save thousands of dollars for your future together.
What I wish I knew: Lab-grown diamonds aren't a compromise—they're a smart choice that offers better value, ethical sourcing, and identical beauty.
3. Certification Matters More Than You Think
When I first started shopping, I didn't understand why certification was such a big deal. Now I know: it's your proof of quality and your protection against overpaying.
A diamond certificate from a reputable lab (like IGI, SGL, or GIA) provides an independent assessment of the diamond's quality—its cut, color, clarity, and carat weight. Without certification, you're essentially taking the jeweler's word for it.
What I wish I knew: Always ask for certification, and make sure it's from a recognized gemological lab. For lab-grown diamonds, IGI is the industry standard for stones 1 carat and above, while SGL is trusted for smaller diamonds and accent stones.
4. Cut Quality Matters More Than Carat Size
I was obsessed with carat size when I started shopping. Bigger is better, right? Not exactly.
The cut of a diamond determines how much it sparkles. A well-cut 0.9-carat diamond will look more brilliant and eye-catching than a poorly cut 1.2-carat stone. Cut affects how light enters and reflects within the diamond—it's what creates that mesmerizing fire and brilliance.
What I wish I knew: Prioritize cut grade (aim for Excellent or Very Good) over carat weight. A smaller, beautifully cut diamond will always outshine a larger, poorly cut one.
5. You Can Compromise on Color and Clarity Without Anyone Noticing
Here's a secret the jewelry industry doesn't advertise: most people can't see the difference between a D-color (colorless) and a G-color (near-colorless) diamond with the naked eye. The same goes for clarity—VS1 and VS2 diamonds are "eye-clean," meaning their inclusions are invisible without magnification.
By choosing a G-H color and VS1-VS2 clarity, you can save significant money without sacrificing visual appeal. Those savings can go toward a better cut, a larger carat size, or a higher-quality setting.
What I wish I knew: Don't pay for perfection that only a gemologist with a loupe can see. Focus on what's visible to the naked eye.
6. The Setting Can Make or Break the Ring
I spent so much time researching diamonds that I almost overlooked the setting. Big mistake.
The setting is what holds the diamond and defines the ring's overall style. It affects durability, comfort, and how the diamond appears. A well-designed setting can make a diamond look larger, while a poor setting can detract from even the most beautiful stone.
Consider the metal type too. 18K gold offers a perfect balance of purity (75% gold) and durability, and it's available in yellow, white, and rose gold. Make sure it's BIS Hallmarked to guarantee authenticity.
What I wish I knew: The setting is just as important as the diamond. Choose a style that complements your partner's lifestyle and personal taste.
7. Ring Size Is Trickier Than You Think
I thought I knew my partner's ring size. I was wrong by half a size, which doesn't sound like much—but it makes a difference in comfort and fit.
If you're planning a surprise proposal, here are some sneaky ways to find out the right size:
- Borrow a ring they already wear on their ring finger (left hand, fourth finger)
- Trace the inside of the ring on paper or press it into soap to get an impression
- Ask their friends or family members
- Use a printable ring sizer when they're not around
What I wish I knew: Most jewelers offer free resizing within a certain timeframe, so don't stress too much if you're off by a little. Just confirm the resizing policy before you buy.
8. Your Partner's Lifestyle Should Influence Your Choice
Does your partner work with their hands? Are they active in sports or outdoor activities? Do they prefer minimalist or bold jewelry?
These lifestyle factors should guide your ring choice. For someone with an active lifestyle, a lower-profile setting (like a bezel or flush setting) is more practical than a high-set solitaire that can snag on clothing. For someone who loves classic elegance, a timeless solitaire or pavé band might be perfect.
What I wish I knew: The most beautiful ring is one that fits seamlessly into your partner's daily life. Think about practicality alongside aesthetics.
9. You Don't Have to Buy the First Ring You Love
I felt pressure to make a decision quickly, especially when a salesperson told me "this exact ring might not be available tomorrow." That's a sales tactic, not a fact.
Take your time. Visit multiple jewelers (or browse multiple websites). Compare prices, quality, and customer service. A reputable jeweler won't pressure you—they'll educate you and give you space to make the right decision.
What I wish I knew: This is one of the most important purchases you'll make. It's okay to sleep on it, do more research, and come back when you're confident.
10. Return Policies and Warranties Are Non-Negotiable
Before you buy, understand the jeweler's return policy, exchange options, and warranty coverage. Can you return or exchange the ring if your partner wants a different style? Is resizing included? What about lifetime maintenance like prong tightening and cleaning?
A jeweler who stands behind their product will offer fair, transparent policies. If they're vague or reluctant to discuss returns and warranties, that's a red flag.
What I wish I knew: Read the fine print. Know exactly what's covered and for how long before you make a purchase.
11. Online Shopping Can Be Just as Trustworthy as In-Store
I was skeptical about buying an engagement ring online. How could I trust the quality without seeing it in person?
But reputable online jewelers offer detailed certifications, high-resolution images, 360-degree videos, and generous return policies. Many also provide virtual consultations and customer support to guide you through the process. Plus, online retailers often have lower overhead costs, which means better prices for you.
What I wish I knew: Online shopping for engagement rings is safe and often more affordable—as long as you buy from a trusted, transparent retailer with proper certifications and return policies.
12. It's Okay to Involve Your Partner
Surprise proposals are romantic, but they're not for everyone. Some couples prefer to shop for the ring together to ensure it's exactly what they want.
There's no right or wrong approach. If you want to surprise your partner, focus on getting the style right and leave room for customization later. If you'd rather shop together, you can still make the proposal itself a surprise.
What I wish I knew: The ring is a symbol of your partnership. It's okay to make the decision together if that feels right for your relationship.
Final Thoughts: Trust the Process
Buying an engagement ring can feel overwhelming, but it's also an incredible milestone. The most important thing isn't finding the "perfect" ring—it's finding the right ring for your partner and your relationship.
Do your research, ask questions, set a realistic budget, and trust your instincts. And remember: the ring is just the beginning. What matters most is the life you're building together.
Ready to find the perfect engagement ring? Explore our collection of certified lab grown diamond rings, all set in BIS Hallmarked 18K gold. We offer transparent pricing, ethical sourcing, and up to 70% savings compared to natural diamonds—so you can invest in your future without compromise.
